Hi. I'm Phelan Sadie. For seven years, I worked full time while also completing my PhD and I finally finished my PhD in December 2016. During that time, I enjoyed writing about some of my shenanigans, experiences, observations, and insights as a way to connect with other aspects of myself, especially my romantic life which is chock-full of nutty stories. Just when I think things can't get any more weird, life surprises me with more weirdness but it all seems normal to me. At first, I emailed some stories to friends and family, then a couple of friends suggested I start a blog. So, here I am. I've written these stories to the best of my recollection. Some of my stories are funny; some aren't. Some are sexually explicit; some are downright lame. Either way, I hope you appreciate or enjoy them.

About three years ago, I arrived at what I call the intersection of Fuck It Rd. and I Don't Give a Shit Ave. It's a crude way of saying that I've let go of outcome and a sense of absolute control over my life. That I have faith that I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be (fuck it) and am being my authentic self despite judgments other people may make about me (I don't give a shit). It's a fantastic place to live, but sometimes my residency is threatened when my romantic life presents challenges. But, my foundation becomes more sturdy as I navigate each challenge. It's a journey rather than a destination, and I'm still human after all. 3/31/17

Sunday, December 15, 2013

More Advice from an Asshole

I'm recovering from knee surgery and had some downtime to read for pleasure. I chose an amusing book: Sloppy Seconds: The Tucker Max Leftovers by Tucker Max. I enjoy and appreciate Max's perspective and writing style; he's smart, witty, vulgar, offensive, and says things most of us only think. In his first book, I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell, he offered the most useful dating advice ever: women need to demand respect from men because men will treat women however women let them. See my post Dating Advice from an Asshole for the full quote. In Sloppy Seconds Max offers more advice. Well, it's not dating advice; it's gambling advice:

"It's a gambling truth - if you don't care about the result and just have fun,
you always do better than if you're trying hard" (pg. 125).

Now replace "gambling" with "dating." This advice is priceless. Let go of the outcome and have fun. I tried to let go of outcome and have fun earlier this year but I wasn't ready - the Egyptian, Andy, Ethan, and Bobby jostled things up. After my dating experiment in August, I was closer to the "no outcome + fun" part of my journey. Kyle (my self-confidence/happiness/dating coach) has helped me on this journey. The more confident I am, the happier I am, the more fun I have, the less I think about the outcome. In September, Ethan and I became a couple. In October, I went to Los Angeles to visit my mom. On my flight back to Seattle, I had a wonderful encounter with my flight companion that stirred things up and called into question my relationship with Ethan. As my flight companion kissed me during our descent to Seattle, I finally landed on the doorstep of "no outcome + fun." The next day, Ethan and I broke up. I've had some encounters and dates since then, but the dating dust has settled and I'm having fun regardless of the outcome. Or maybe I'm just too burnt out from working full-time, writing a dissertation, suffering from Chronic ABD Syndrome, dealing with a host of physical issues, and focusing on self-care to think or worry about the outcome. Either way, I'm there. I'll enjoy it while it lasts. Thank you again, my single-serving flight companion.
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