I spent the weekend with Nephew and his mom/my friend. Mother's Day was a bit rough for the ladies. Nephew's mom had some things going on, and I received 17 text messages from my Middle Eastern man who's majorly depressed due to his sense of obligation to marry his cousin which obviously conflicts with his desire to be with me. Boo fucking hooo. It's his choice regardless of the consequences. He said that if (If? Not "when"? - I'm grasping tightly onto that straw...) he marries his cousin, he thinks he will be an unfaithful person who's killing my heart. He's perceptive. That he doesn't deserve me or my love. Probably. That he thought he had principles but he was wrong. Maybe - what's the boy gonna do? He fell in love with me and we cannot control that. That I'm more pure than him. Um, from a Muslim to a non-religious American, I found this statement funny but I think he's right but he hasn't read any of my blog entries so who knows. That he hasn't respected anyone (his cousin or me). Perhaps. That I should piss on his face. Tempted. He said some other things and we'll talk about it later this week but, with all of this weighing on me, Nephew informed me that Pak (his friend that hit on me - see Cougar Nights and Cougar Nights: Post Script) just agreed to an arranged marriage. Seriously? I think I'm cursed. I got a fortune cookie on February 1, 2011 (yes, I put dates on them) and it said "You will be successful in romance." LIAR! Not that I thought anything would come of my encounter with Pak, but it's sort of ironic: attracted to two different men who are involved in arrange marriages. This rarely happens once in someone's life, let alone twice. Obviously the situation with Pak is nothing like my situation with Middle Eastern man but the moment I'm finally open to welcoming in another relationship in my life and I encounter this man. On the upside, I my fortune cookie from July 7, 2011, that said "Boats and water will be in your future" and a couple weeks later I had the random opportunity to learn how to sail and I spent some time in sailboats on the water so I guess that fortune was accurate. And I also did crew that summer too. Maybe I'll have success in romance after all? Stupid fortune cookies.
On the night I met Pak, we talked about arranged marriages because the boys wanted to know what was up with my love life: in love with someone who also loves me but will marry his cousin out of obligation so just living my life. Yet Pak failed to mention he was involved in an arranged marriage situation. Of course. Why would he? He was attracted to me, hit on me, and made out with me. On our drive home, he said "I don't know about arranged marriages" - in the context it meant he wasn't sure how he felt about them. Well, I guess he figured that out. Not that I need to be anyone's moral compass, but WTBF? (B = bloody). If you're committed to a familial or cultural obligation for an arranged marriage then leave me and anyone else the fuck alone! Stick to your arranged marriage path and don't mess with anyone's feelings. If you want to play in the garden of forbidden delights, hire a damn prostitute. Or be honest about your situation so the other person can decide how to proceed. If you want to experience true love, then get the courage to stand up to your family, reject the arranged marriage, and deal with the goddamn consequences. Fuck. What's wrong with me? Why do I attract all this weirdness? If I start mate-searching again via dating websites, I plan to clearly state "If your culture or family has a tradition for arranged marriages and you feel obligated to adhere to it, please LEAVE ME ALONE or I will cut you." I'm tired of this bullshit.
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