Paranormal Activity?

A couple years ago, I worked part-time for a research institution coding and entering data to supplement my meager graduate student income. Nearing the sniping point (aka having a difficult day), I took a break to geek out a bit and wrote this, which was later published in the institution's newsletter:

"Paranormal Activity at [Research Company]?

In all the times I used the fifth floor women’s restroom, I never heard any strange noise so I was taken aback the first time I stepped into the third floor women’s restroom after my transition to a new position. Each time I enter the third floor women’s restroom, I hear a soft rustling noise. After I round the corner to the left to make my way to a stall, I invariably hear this rustling noise. At first I thought “Is there someone else in here? Is she alerting me to her presence by rustling a toilet seat cover?” Maybe so, but certainly not each and every time I go in there. But I checked anyway and, after a couple weeks, I did not find any evidence to support that hypothesis – the subject(s) and data just weren’t there. My next hypothesis was that there was a motion sensor strategically placed so that when a patron crossed it, it triggered this rustling noise; but, again, I did not find any evidence to support this hypothesis. And why would someone put a motion sensor in there to trigger this rustling noise? My next hypothesis: I was imagining things. But would I really hear the same rustling noise each and every time I rounded the corner in this restroom? I suppose it’s possible but I was, and still am, certain (fairly certain?) that my mental and auditory faculties are in proper working order…at least for now. And, quite frankly, I didn’t want to collect any data to support or reject this hypothesis; ignorance is bliss. Then I began to entertain the idea of paranormal activity. Perhaps there’s a restroom ghost and he or she is making friendly rustling noises? Or maybe even unfriendly rustling noises? Was the ghost trying to communicate with me? How was I to know if the ghost was friendly or sinister? Could he or she be related to Moaning Myrtle? I’ve never encountered a ghost that I know of, but I experienced no harm when I entered the restroom so I concluded that it must be a friendly ghost. Finally…some data! But, alas, not enough to support my paranormal activity hypothesis. Lack of harm does not equal friendly ghost, or even just a ghost. Even so, the rustling noise continued and I favored my paranormal activity hypothesis.

After about eight weeks of using this haunted restroom, I asked my co-worker Rita if she too heard the rustling noise. She had! Gasp! Oh no…the restroom ghost was haunting both of us! Many thoughts ran through my mind: we could seek help from Steven Spielberg, the producers of Paranormal Activity or the Blair Witch Project, or perhaps even the History Channel and PBS? Maybe Dan Aykroyd and Bill Murray? They’d know what to do about this ghost. After entertaining these ideas for a bit, I remembered that I saw a wastebasket inside the restroom right by the door. I asked Rita, “Do you think the noise is coming from the trash liner in the wastebasket, which is being moved by the breeze caused by the door when it closes?” Another, yet extremely farfetched, hypothesis! Humm… On my next visit to the restroom, I again heard the rustling noise. Darn ghost! Then it dawned on me to perform an experiment to test out this farfetched hypothesis. As I stood by the door and wastebasket, I opened the door and let it close, with my ears perked and my eyes locked on the wastebasket and its accompanying trash liner. Sure enough, the breeze from the door moved through the mesh wastebasket thus causing the trash liner to bellow in its breeze resulting in the rustling sound. It’s not a ghost after all! Alas, there was a logical explanation for the rustling noise. While I’m a Ph.D. student in the midst of my dissertation and I’ve earned a minor in statistics, I have not yet been able to make a coveted causal statement…until now: in the third floor women’s restroom, the breeze caused by opening or closing the door causes the trash liner in the mesh wastebasket (which sits near the door) to move resulting in a rustling sound. Yes, there is support for my door breeze hypothesis and it can be supported by further experiments…for those who dare…"

Alas, my research was useful because other women were wondering from where this noise came. And no one got sniped. Yay me!