I've been to a few holiday parties. Most of them were uneventful. This one, not so much. Actually, the party itself was fine. It was the after-party that was eventful. First some background information. Jos, my former boss, was (and probably still is) attractive but very difficult to work with. I half respected him, half despised him. Sometimes I wanted to strangle him. Other times I wished I was independently wealthy so I could quit my job and say "Go fuck yourself!" Then there was Benny, my former co-worker. I used to confide in him about my relationship with the Egyptian, because he had a similar cultural difference but followed his heart and married the woman he loved.
During the party, I caught up with my former co-workers whom I hadn't seen in almost two months. I thought Benny flirted with me, but given that he was married with two children I didn't think much of it. It was probably my imagination, and I'm clueless when it comes to that stuff. After the party, Jos wanted to hear live music at a bar. Sounded good to me, and, since he was no longer my boss, I didn't have to deal with his difficult personality. I had a couple of drinks at the party, so my friend drove me to the bar. Jos' friend was there. Benny joined us too. But my friend left shortly after we got there, so it was just me, Jos, Jos' friend, and Benny. Benny bought me a shot of whiskey. It tasted like oak. I sipped on it and chatted with Jos' friend and Benny while Jos sent text messages. To my new boss. WTF? Apparently Jos teased her that her new/his former employee was hanging out with him at the bar, but I still didn't know what he was saying about me, if anything. "Jos! What are you telling her?! That's my new boss!" I screeched. He laughed and continued to text her. "Jos! Let me see! What are you telling her?!" I was sitting on a bar stool facing away from the bar, the heels of my shoes hooked in the rung. Jos stood about two feet in front of me. Benny sat on the bar stool to my right. Jos' friend sat on the bar stool to my left. In an effort to peak at Jos' phone, I leaned forward and grabbed at it playfully but he laughed and pulled it away. But then my bar stool teetered forward. My heels were stuck on the rung so I couldn't plant my feet on the ground. My ass slid off the bar stool. I did a face plant...into Jos' crotch. :( My head tilted up as I fell so it was more like my neck was in his crotch, as if that was any better. My chin rested on his zipper. I looked up at him, mortified. I may as well have offered him a blow job. Then I realized something else: my hands were clenched tightly in his ass crack as I held on for dear life. Benny came to my rescue, extracted me from Jos' crotch and ass, and helped me up. We all had a good laugh at my expense. I don't mind making a fool of myself. Even so, I was embarrassed yet thankful I didn't work with Jos anymore. It was bad enough that Jos was one of my Match.com matches when I tried that two years ago.
Still embarrassed, I sipped on my whiskey and ordered another drink. I wanted to drown out the memory of my face plant into the crotch of a man I half despised. Benny and I chatted for a while, then decided we needed food. I wasn't capable of driving, so Benny drove us around town in search of late night munchies. We tried the lone 24-hour diner but the wait was about 45 minutes, so we got drive-thru food and drove back to the location of the holiday party. We chomped on our food and talked about my situation with the Egyptian. It was weighing heavy on my heart. The Egyptian would arrive in about three weeks for his second visit. Conflicted feelings encompassed me: happy yet sad, excited yet scared, relieved yet anxious. I thought I'd never see the Egyptian again, yet he would be here soon. All the letting go of outcome and enjoying the moment sucked, because I didn't see a future with the Egyptian but I wanted to spend more time with him too. Benny knew what I was going through, as I confided in him over the past year.
After we finished eating, Benny said he couldn't stop thinking about me after he saw me at the holiday party. That I was pretty, smart, and nice. That I deserved better than what the Egyptian had to offer. That I deserved to be loved and to be happy. "Part of me just wants to love you" he confessed. I was shocked. I had no idea he felt this way about me. "May I kiss you?" he asked gently. "Yes" I replied. Benny leaned over and we kissed. Surprisingly, it was a great kiss. When he pulled away, it hit me: another unavailable man hit on me. I felt sorry for myself. It was 4am, I was in Benny's car, and he just kissed me. What was I doing? "This seems like the appropriate time for me to go. Good night, Benny" I said as I exited his car. I got into my car, drove home, and cried until I passed out. Sigh.
Mi vida romantica locura.
During the party, I caught up with my former co-workers whom I hadn't seen in almost two months. I thought Benny flirted with me, but given that he was married with two children I didn't think much of it. It was probably my imagination, and I'm clueless when it comes to that stuff. After the party, Jos wanted to hear live music at a bar. Sounded good to me, and, since he was no longer my boss, I didn't have to deal with his difficult personality. I had a couple of drinks at the party, so my friend drove me to the bar. Jos' friend was there. Benny joined us too. But my friend left shortly after we got there, so it was just me, Jos, Jos' friend, and Benny. Benny bought me a shot of whiskey. It tasted like oak. I sipped on it and chatted with Jos' friend and Benny while Jos sent text messages. To my new boss. WTF? Apparently Jos teased her that her new/his former employee was hanging out with him at the bar, but I still didn't know what he was saying about me, if anything. "Jos! What are you telling her?! That's my new boss!" I screeched. He laughed and continued to text her. "Jos! Let me see! What are you telling her?!" I was sitting on a bar stool facing away from the bar, the heels of my shoes hooked in the rung. Jos stood about two feet in front of me. Benny sat on the bar stool to my right. Jos' friend sat on the bar stool to my left. In an effort to peak at Jos' phone, I leaned forward and grabbed at it playfully but he laughed and pulled it away. But then my bar stool teetered forward. My heels were stuck on the rung so I couldn't plant my feet on the ground. My ass slid off the bar stool. I did a face plant...into Jos' crotch. :( My head tilted up as I fell so it was more like my neck was in his crotch, as if that was any better. My chin rested on his zipper. I looked up at him, mortified. I may as well have offered him a blow job. Then I realized something else: my hands were clenched tightly in his ass crack as I held on for dear life. Benny came to my rescue, extracted me from Jos' crotch and ass, and helped me up. We all had a good laugh at my expense. I don't mind making a fool of myself. Even so, I was embarrassed yet thankful I didn't work with Jos anymore. It was bad enough that Jos was one of my Match.com matches when I tried that two years ago.
Still embarrassed, I sipped on my whiskey and ordered another drink. I wanted to drown out the memory of my face plant into the crotch of a man I half despised. Benny and I chatted for a while, then decided we needed food. I wasn't capable of driving, so Benny drove us around town in search of late night munchies. We tried the lone 24-hour diner but the wait was about 45 minutes, so we got drive-thru food and drove back to the location of the holiday party. We chomped on our food and talked about my situation with the Egyptian. It was weighing heavy on my heart. The Egyptian would arrive in about three weeks for his second visit. Conflicted feelings encompassed me: happy yet sad, excited yet scared, relieved yet anxious. I thought I'd never see the Egyptian again, yet he would be here soon. All the letting go of outcome and enjoying the moment sucked, because I didn't see a future with the Egyptian but I wanted to spend more time with him too. Benny knew what I was going through, as I confided in him over the past year.
After we finished eating, Benny said he couldn't stop thinking about me after he saw me at the holiday party. That I was pretty, smart, and nice. That I deserved better than what the Egyptian had to offer. That I deserved to be loved and to be happy. "Part of me just wants to love you" he confessed. I was shocked. I had no idea he felt this way about me. "May I kiss you?" he asked gently. "Yes" I replied. Benny leaned over and we kissed. Surprisingly, it was a great kiss. When he pulled away, it hit me: another unavailable man hit on me. I felt sorry for myself. It was 4am, I was in Benny's car, and he just kissed me. What was I doing? "This seems like the appropriate time for me to go. Good night, Benny" I said as I exited his car. I got into my car, drove home, and cried until I passed out. Sigh.
Mi vida romantica locura.
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